Thursday, 23 September 2010

The mysterious incident of the navy tights in the designer's drawer

In the ever changing vortex of taste that is planet fashion there are few truly heinous fashion crimes. Most bad taste can be excused as ‘on trend’ however as with anything in life there are ten comandments which-for the greater good of society and regardless of creative need- should be obeyed. ‘Thou shalt not wear navy tights’ is definitely one of them. Especially if you thought they were black.

Fashion week is an incredibly busy time for us. We are flying madly from appointment to appointment, from launch to dinner to party and somewhere in all that are school runs, parent meetings and tears at bedtime. There is not the necessary time to luxuriate over the choice of ground breaking outfit. The creative dresser within must be reigned in if I am to get anywhere on time and organized the night before. In the dark. Because Ginger #1 is asleep in my bed. And therein lays the problem…. The rogue navy tights luxuriating at the bottom of my drawer undisturbed since last winter have reared their ugly head. Or feet. Whatever.

To be honest it was Amiee that they claimed as their first victim. She rummaged in my drawer shortly before we left for the Value of Fashion launch and she was rocking a beige and black neutrals looks. Except it was beige, black and navy which isn’t a look and in fact an offence and to add insult to injury it only came to light (excuse the pun) under the flash of the photographers camera as her outfit was recorded for Fashion Week posterity. Lets hope they think it’s a new trend.

I was the second victim. Thinking (clearly mistakenly) that the offending item had been taken into fashion custody and were languishing safely in a British Heart Foundation store somewhere I went into the drawer with foolish carelessness. My devil may care attitude was rewarded in the cold light of the taxi cab on route to a charity dinner for HET last night when my vintage Sara Berman lace cocktail dress was ambushed by the surprise appearance of the navy tights. I don’t understand how it happened but I had no choice but to shoulder on, the tights under surveillance. I had a fascinating evening and was enjoying myself greatly until I spotted a fellow fashion body across the room. We did the fashion quick step over to each other and performed the necessary eye sweep and computation. ‘You look fabulous darling! So clever to lift all that lace with navy.’ ‘Oh yes-very next season don’t you think?’

Perhaps I will let the tights out on bail.

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