Friday, 10 September 2010

She’s Back!

Amiee is back and all is right in my world! Yes - I can go back to my reclusive ways as she is staying with me for the 5 weeks she is here… It’s all good. Actually it is all hilarious… She brought back a whole load of bad habits from L.A the very worst of which has to be top to toe Spanx. 

Now I do understand that Spanx are a worldwide phenomena but it wasn’t until Amiee returned from LA that a pair actually existed in my house and to be honest I didn’t know that it was possible to hold not just your stomach but your WHOLE BODY in. Amazing , but I ask you-is this entirely sane? I get that we all want to make to best of the body we are in but these things are pure torture! 

Who can wear these for more than 5 minutes without asphyxiating themselves? And more to the point, a girl goes to all this effort to struggle into one of these things but should all the agony pay off and she should score, how on earth is she going to explain to her potential suitor why she is wearing what looks like a severe burns treatment? And should he buy into whatever excuse is offered, a new problem of getting out of this body suit is posed. I was stuck for a full five minutes. The only thing about this which is hot was me. And not in a good way. 

So to summarize… We wear these things in order to sculpt our bodies into a desirable form in order to look the best we can in the hope of perhaps getting some action. However when confronted by said action there is no way of disentangling ourselves which doesn’t in all likelihood involve your beau having to pull you out of it with a fair degree of force and just possibly ruining the magic. So L.A baby.

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